Q: I hate it when girls come over in the middle of the night and act like we aren’t fucking! It’s not like I invited them over for coffee or something. What's up with that?

-- Jason, 28, Police Officer, Queens, NY

A:  Ahhh, the “Oh, I just want to cuddle” episodes.

I’m going to have to agree with the gentleman who posed this question. Ladies, this is simple. Do not call a man in the wee hours of the morning to “hang out.” Because in our brain, we hear “Would you like to fuck?”

The only reason we pick up that late night call is to say “Yes, I would like you to come over so I can fuck your brains out.” It’s plain and simple. Allow me to tell you what is not acceptable: Being a tease! In other words, do not call, come over and then expect to just cuddle. That is not what we had in mind. We, as a race, will no longer be tricked into allowing you to come over to “cuddle.”

That, my friend, is bullshit.

First of all, you disrupted my damn sleep, and the only thing that is comparable is mind blowing sex. There is no way around this. I say to you, think before you make that call -- drunk or sober. Put yourself in my place next time you think about making a call like that.

And while we are on this topic, there should be a drunk dial key on a cell phone. No one is happy getting 72 calls in an hour. If we do not pick up, it is for a reason! I am pretty sure if I wanted to hear you tell me you missed me or hated me or any of the above I would’ve picked up within the first 15 calls. This goes for both males and females.

The solution: Give your friend your phone, or grow up. Period. And guys -- if she pulls that cuddle shit just once, don’t answer her call again.

-- J. Boz