-- Faith, 20, Student, Manhasset, NY

A:  Well, I will first say I am definitely guilty of this one time and time again. And where it stems from is natural born competition.

Let’s ask ourselves one question ladies. Who are you going to date upon first meeting: the guy who is mail room clerk, or the guy who works at the big law firm? You already know the answer to this so I will not go there. I will say, however, that all humans have a tendency to do this. They make themselves look better in order to get ahead in the world. We do it on a daily basis. Every day, you are forced to sell yourself, whether it is your job, a social setting, school or another scenario. People are always trying to give themselves a competitive advantage. It’s the natural order of life.

On the other hand, there is embellishment which can be extreme and get you into trouble. I believe it is a called a lie. There is a BIG difference between lying outright and saying you work for a big law firm. I personally don’t think it is a problem bragging about where you work to give you an edge in the playing field. It could be a date, a job interview or your resume. You want to make sure you stand out the most.

However, there is one thing that must go with it: You must be able to live up to the hype. It is one thing to say that you are a mail clerk at a huge law firm, and but it is another thing entirely to say that you’re a paralegal at the same firm (assuming that you are not a paralegal).

Save yourself the trouble of lying. You will definitely get caught -- I can promise you that much. Make sure that whatever you do to make yourself appear larger than life you do it with truth and honesty. Lying will only get you into trouble.

Another point I would like touch upon is this: Men, just because you think you are giving yourself a competitive advantage doesn’t mean it will work. Don’t assume that you know what a woman wants. Don’t assume she wants the hotshot lawyer. She may have dated him already, and now want nothing to do with him.

So just be yourself. Who cares if you work in the mail room? Just be the best damn mail clerk ever! (Editor’s note: Damn right.)! Women value honesty and integrity over petty lies and your job title. Don’t make yourself out to be more than you are. It will bite you in the ass. Be yourself, and be yourself with confidence.

Now I am going to talk about the pickup lines: Don’t use them. Period.

They are obnoxious, corny and maybe one out of 10 women falls for them. I can hands  down guarantee you that you have a much better shot of introducing yourself, extending your hand and striking up a casual conversation than using some corny line.

Some of you are probably saying “Oh, but it’s worked before.” And you know what I say to that: “Are you still dating her now?”

I already know the answer to that. You are also ruining it for the rest of us. Just learn how to approach women in various different situations. Be honest, walk with confidence, and you’ll succeed 99% of the time. This is a huge chapter in my upcoming book -- confidence and various approaches for different situations. Believe me, just because you are being yourself does not mean you can say the same thing to a stripper as a woman in a grocery store!

And stop watching all these damn pick up artist shows.

-- J. Boz