-- Marcy, 27, Real Estate Agent, Orange County, CA

A: What a topic to discuss. I must say that there is a very important key factor in a relationship which has yet to be discussed. This topic is so important, it has been known to make or break relationships!

And the topic is how well your significant other gets along with your friends. I’m sure if you stop and think -- pause -- about a relationship in which your girlfriend (or boyfriend, as the case may be) does not get along with your friends or vice versa (I know I can think of quite a few), you will probably cringe. I sure as hell just did. The fights, needless arguments and all the bullshit that goes with it -- I’m going to say something now --is endless. It is very rare that one of the two parties will “come around” and all of a sudden see the light.

No, that never happens. And if they say it did, they are lying.

When you start dating, you must check for the early warning signs that your new girlfriend (or boyfriend) is not getting along with your friends. I am not talking about acquaintances; I am talking about your inner circle, your rocking chair friends. I am talking about the ones that you would lie for on the stand in a heartbeat. More than likely, this is going to be a breaking point for your relationship if they cannot get along.

 I always urge establishing the relationships among relationships; by this, I mean make sure your friends as well as your girlfriend are properly introduced (and comfortable) with each other. Women are like walking lie detectors, they can detect bullshit a million miles away. So more than likely, if they don’t like someone, they probably have a pretty good reason.

Now I know you are probably saying to yourself “But Jeremy, women are so petty, and although this may be true, this is generally with other women, not your male friends.” That said, guys, you need to keep your friends in check: What may pass with you -- the dirty jokes, the male comradery -- may not pass with the woman. So until you know she’s cool, it is your job to keep them in check, especially in the beginning.

Now we can move on. Let’s progress and say that you have been dating for a few years and there is real potential to take the plunge. Yes, I am talking about marriage (what a dirty word, to me its worse than c*nt)! Well, now you have a real decision to make.

Let’s run through a scenario:

                Your friend calls your girlfriend a bitch. Do you…

a)      Say “Yeah, she’s a bitch.”

b)      Say “Dude, that’s my bitch and I don’t want to hear that out of your mouth again.”

c)       Slap him of the bar stool and call him a bitch.

d)      Dial the phone, call up your girlfriend and tell her that she’s a bitch.

Well, the obvious answer is to check your man. Regardless of the situation, if the relationship is serious, you are the only one that can call your woman a bitch -- not your friends.  What people need to understand is that if you are seriously considering marriage, your future wife is your best friend. If you are not ready for that then DO NOT GET MARRIED. This goes both ways, and for both sexes. Defend your significant other at all costs unless you’re willing to lose a relationship.

Ultimately the point of the article is to make you understand that when you are in a relationship, you have two choices if your friends and significant other do not get along: Either get new friends, or get a new significant other. Over time, unless you can find a way to mediate, it just won’t work. The battle for supremacy will be worse than George Bush’s invasion of Iraq. It will be a complete fucking disaster.

-- J. Boz